Honouring Personal Commitments in Generation Y

Given all our technology you'd think that everyone would be more closely linked and bonded than ever before. However that doesn't seem to be the case for most people and the quality of relationships is also being effected.

In Gen Y there is nothing quite so important as the ability to be 'easy going'. This is a loose term which at one time would have meant to be relaxed and happy to go with the flow. Over time this has shifted and the phrase has taken on a more demanding connotation. The new incarnation of easy going requires that a person have no particularly strong identification with anything. That is to say that they must be willing to give over any notion that they had when it comes to discussion, expression of opinion or interactions with others.

An inability to immediately release from ones values and ideas is often seen as being difficult or uptight. In many cases it is not simply enough to acknowledge the opinion of another, there is a mania for attempting to convert others to a congruent point of view. As a social study this is interesting as it is in direct contrast with those values which would have been at one time highly prized, particularly amongst men. The idea of a stoic man of sound principle who would calmly express his unshakable ideal was treated with reverence. These days he wouldn't get invited to any cool parties.

Keeping in mind this premise of the chronically easy-going GenY'er, whom expects complete malleability of the opinions of others but whom conversely feels an unyielding thirst to convert others to his point of view; let us consider how this may manifest itself in the way of actions.

As a member of Generation Y myself I base my ponderings mainly upon personal observation. Statistically it must be said that there is a great deal of variation, however what I am discussing here are broad themes, represented again and again as patterns of behaviour.

The process of making an arrangement with a Gen Y'er is the classic example. A time is set, a place is set and therefore an arrangement is made. To a more traditional mind this might seem straightforward and deceptively simple. In the mind of Gen Y however an arrangement is just an idea: A thing that could happen, maybe... but you'd better be prepared to be easy going about it. I have noted again and again in dealing with people of my own age group that there is a real difficulty in translating ideas into action. So many things remain abstract and beyond the thinker to make the move into actualizing the thought.

Why is this? It's hard to say, however maybe the mindset can be partly explained by the complete lack of existing paradigms for normal behaviour in Gen Y. The traditional notions of 'making a life' which were summarily demolished during the Baby Boomer and Gen X years are by now almost beyond memory. So in Gen Y we grow up with no particular expectations placed upon us in terms of marriage or procreation. The astronomical price of housing in most countries encourages many not to enter the property market and anyway, eventually the Baby Boomers will die, leaving everyone nicely inflated properties and pension funds (or so the theory goes).

So is it this lack of expectation which leads to a general malais and a large scale abandonment of traditional 'core' values? A commitment to ideas such as respect and honour is difficult when it is exercised in such a minority, especially in an environment where the majority are enforcing their own stance wherever there is conflict.

Another factor is the constant anxiety around doing these things perceived to increase status or happiness. One might end up with a priority structure which sees one attending every Pilates class and seeing every episode of Gossip Girl but then declaring they have no time for socialising. This kind of self imposed time poverty is an outward symptom of a life lived in neutral, or first gear at best. The results is a quagmire of cancelled appointments, missed deadlines and broken goals: failed commitments.

Contrary to what was discussed in the previous blog entry about values based living I would doubt that many people would look back on such a life with a glowing sense of pride.

The ability to be consistent with oneself and with others is a skill and one which takes a great deal of attention. It is something that all of us have varying success with at different times and I don’t believe that anyone has escaped failure. However it is possible, through treating your commitments as important, to achieve a state of greater ease and honesty.

Being reliable has come to be seen as being rather dull in Generation Y and sadly as such has been disregarded by many. Along with many other key traits, the ability to honour ones commitments is more important now than ever. With a population that is being driven apart by communication tools rather than drawn together. As personal contact becomes less the norm than text messages, Facebook and Tweets, these ‘appointments’ become some of the most precious agreements of our lives. There can be no lasting emotional fulfilment in a life which finds room for work, gym, naps, Internet porn and television and marginalises simple human contact.

Having been through the exercise outlined in the Values Based Living article you should have gained a clearer idea of the kind of things that are important to you and importantly, what kind of people you want to be close to. There is no special trick to translating this into firm, consistently met commitments. It is a general shift in thinking, a transition from idea to action which can only be brought about by increased mindfulness.

Take some time each day to think about the commitments you make to yourself. Nail down those abstract ideas of who you want to be and where you want to go. Start to do all those small things which you have left undone and be strong and decisive moving forward in becoming reliable, both to others and with your own True self.